i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
