She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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