Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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