nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize