I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
