Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
