That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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