Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
