i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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