I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize