spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
