loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Drake has all the answers
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
