why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
