Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
