so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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