The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
