The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize