He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
