The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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