So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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