the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize