So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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