we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
