1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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