There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
