sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All the doctor said was why
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
