Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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