Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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