she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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