The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
