Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
