Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize