We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize