oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
