I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
