I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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