I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
