i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize