I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
its liver damage thursday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
