When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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