Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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