All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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