foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There r osticjed everywhere
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I will pee on everything he values.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
