theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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