piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Randomize
