I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
