have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
