I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
