dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
