I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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