I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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