You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
