He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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