Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
