i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
