Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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