nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
