You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize