her vagine was all disorganized.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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