My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
